NonFic Prompt 1: Have you ever felt embarrassed by the things you used to like?

As a certified “not-like-other-girls” girl, my elementary school experience was shaped by a disregard for all things pink and pretty, a hatred for skirts and dresses, and contempt for girls who would read Dork Diaries instead of Harry Potter. To this pretentious elementary schooler, Taylor Swift was the exact antithesis of my tomboyish ideals. Her songs were about shallow and frivolous topics. “Shake it Off” was stupid, “You Belong With Me” was too whiny, and “Love Story” was just so lame. 

Or at least, that’s what I tried to believe. 

It hadn’t always been this way–I have vivid memories of playing princess dress-up with my sisters and singing to Taylor Swift’s “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” on our run-down karaoke machine. But as soon as second grade started at a brand-new school, playing princess was out, and the girls that weren’t ashamed of their status as "swifties" were laughed at. My new best friends had suddenly joined the “not-like-other-girls” crowd. When basically your entire previous personality had suddenly become a source of embarrassment, things were pretty tough. I had two options–do what brought me joy, regardless of what others thought, or follow along in hopes of keeping up. As someone who felt a desperate need to be liked, I chose the latter path. And so, I would pretend to “not be like other girls” at school, and then would go home to stream Taylor’s music videos on the family computer. 

Over the years, I let my love for all things “girly” fade and basically forgot about Taylor Swift’s music altogether. It wasn’t until quarantine that I rediscovered my love for Taylor Swift with her two new albums, Folklore and Evermore. Being online was helpful in that I felt totally detached from the thoughts and judgements of others, allowing me to truly discover (or in this case, rediscover) what I truly liked. And, at that point in time, I was lucky enough to have friends who not only did not judge me based on my music taste, but actually shared a similar love for Taylor Swift’s music. I let myself rediscover “girlhood,” and realized just how amazing it was to be “like other girls.” 

I’ve come a long way since elementary school–now, I am a co-leader of Uni High’s Taylor Swift club, which makes me as much of a swiftie as you can get. I went to the Eras Tour and scream-sang every single song. Unfortunately, it’s not like I’ve done a complete 180; old habits die hard, and with the amount of stifled laughs and shared glances I get for mentioning that I like Taylor Swift, it’s hard not to backtrack. I remember that when Miranda and I proposed the club to Student Council, the room was full of incredulous giggles, and I felt like running out of the door. But I stayed, and although there have been moments where I have let my embarrassment get the better of me, I am proud that I listen to Taylor Swift. Her music ranges from fun and freeing to haunting and thought-provoking, and her lyricism is beautiful. 

It’s especially easy for interests that are considered “girly” or “feminine” to get looked down upon, and even easier to succumb to social pressure. The pressure to be “not like other girls” is deeply rooted in internalized misogyny, as girls are forced to believe that “girly” interests are inherently inferior. But as Taylor herself once said, “the worst kind of person is someone who makes you feel bad or stupid about being excited about something.” It’s okay to be girly and feminine, and it’s okay if you’re not. No matter what, if something brings you joy, don’t let others tell you it’s stupid. I know it’s hard to take this advice, but life is so much more fun when you do.